Who is REALLY to Blame for the Funancial Crisi

Bankers are often blamed for the finaciaql crisis, but in fact the Government has identified the following as being those really to blame

1.The Guardian
2.Islington luvvies
3.Scotland
4.Wales
5.Northern Ireland
6.The Queen Mother (being dead for a number of years hasn't stopped her from being a big drain on the public purse)
7.Asylum seekers
8.Scroungers
9.Old Firm supporters
10.Fans of Man U, Liverpool, Man Ciry, the Arsenal, Chelsea, and most of all Alloa Athletic
11.The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band
12.Bank customers
13.Mark Steele, Billy Connolly, Kevin Bridges, Dara O'Brien and anyone who has ever apperaed on Mock the week, the News Quiz or the Now Show
14.Pete Postlethwaite, Susannah York and gerry rafferty
15.Any Facebook freind of Harold meiehofer
16.Sheep and other farm animals
17.Dogs, cats and other domesticated pets
18.Hospital patients, especially cancer fighters
19.Old people who refuse to die
20.Sick people who refuse to die
21.Young people who refuse to die
22.Commercial fishermen
23.Non-commercial fishermen
24.The Police
25.Fire Brigade
26.The BBC
27.Dr Who
28.My mum (deceased 1970)
29.Inverness Caledonian Thistle
30.Srudents
31.School pupils (but NOT truants)
32.The Broons and Oor wullie
33.Desparate Dan (Do you have any idea how much a cow pie costs these days
34.The Callaghan Government
35.Pope Bendeict
36.The girl on You Tube who fell into a fountain whilst texting
37.Anyone who listens to "The Archers", "get it on with Bryan Burnett" or "Woman's Hour"
38.Anyone who watches Eastenders, Coronation Street, BBC4, Panorama or any rolling news programme (But not Sky or Fox obviously)
39.The BBC
40.Imelda May
41.The Gallagher Brothers
42.Eddie Izzard
43.Motorists, smokers, drinkers and anyone with an annual income of less that £50K who has the audacity to eat food
44.The makers and fans of Shameless, The Wire, the West Wing, The sopranos, Upstairs Downstairs.and How Clean is your House
45.Three men fae Carntyne, a bottle of wine, and five Woodbine, a big black breyhoond dug called Boab, frae up oor close, alang oor street, a lassie called senga who works in the dairy, 's been skelly ever since the Milanda boay hit her on the heid with a briedboard, all of whom went to join the Parish, only to find it was shut (due to the hard decsions made by thsi coalition Government)
46.Malcolm Tucker
47.Graham Norton and Alan Carr (but NOT Johnny Carr)
48.Anyone who has ever appeared on
49.Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, and the entire Weasley family (But NOT Lord Voldemort
50.Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin
51.The Liberal Democratic Party (Oops, sorry Nick)
52.Rupert and Paddington Bears etc etc etc
53.Oh and of course me, for going to the pictures on the odd occssion and preferring Andrex quilted to Izal


This list is not exhaustive and readers are invited to submit their suggestions.



I'm off to end it all and avoid becoming a burden on the state